This is The Handsome.
He works as an engineer. Because of that, he owns a TON of button-up plaid shirts.
Our closet looks like this
I’m working on expanding his wardrobe, like maybe having wider plaid with purples or something but we’ll see.
Anyway the other day we were having our regular dinner of cold cereal and telling each other how much we love each other (as we do)
when I noticed something.
Oh no.
Eeerrrrrk
The Handsome was taking this much better than I was. For me, the missing button was driving me crazy.
This was a problem.
That was a work shirt!! He’d wear it to work!! What would his coworkers think of me??
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The Handsome said I shouldn’t worry about it.
I was unconvinced.
Buttons are weird because yes, you can sew on a new button, but you have to spend about an hour searching the house for it first. When you don’t find it, that’s another hour going to the store (sigh) to find a match, then when you don’t find one, that’s another hour at another store* (siiiiiigh) where you don’t find the button but you find something like the button and if you squint no one will notice the difference, then when you get home you realize the button thread isn’t white but pale chartreuse #127 which hasn’t been manufactured since the fifties (aaargh) and then…well, you get the idea.
*probably JoAnn’s, which will say they have a 50% off of anything sale except sale items, then they’ll put everything in the store on a 5% off sale. They do this all the time because they’re jerks.
Anyway. When it came to the shirt, there was only one thing left to do.
The Handsome is kind of sensitive about me throwing stuff away. I’m a thrower-awayer.
When we were engaged, I was doing his dishes and there was a big plastic straw in the sink. The kind you’d get for free at like Cafe Rio or Fiiz. Those don’t wash super well, so I threw it away. (You would too!)
Several hours later, The Handsome noticed it was missing.
Realizing that I had thrown it away, he dug through the trash until he found it.
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Next week the exact same thing happened. With that exact same straw.
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He didn’t intercept early enough, and this time he had to dig through the big trash can for it.
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TA DAAAAAAH
Side note: The Handsome has a very interesting relationship with garbage. Early into our marriage*, he confided to me that he had a special skill.
*not before, oddly.
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He told me the story of how, one time, he was thinking he really needed a cooler. He wanted to make a little shelter for the stray cats outside his home, and thought a cooler would be nice and insulating in the cold weather.
LO AND BEHOLD, that VERY next day, he found a cooler in the work dumpster!
He said this kind of thing happens all the time.
As though to prove it, right after this discussion we went to PETCO and he found a bunch of empty boxes we could use for packing stuff.
He really does have a super power!
PS If digging through the dumpster is illegal, please don’t tell him. It would break his heart.
Anyway, back to the button.
There I sat, trying to figure out what to do…
But The Handsome was one step ahead of me.
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CRISIS AVERTED!!!
The man is a genius. Omgsh I love him soooooo much ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
In other news:
CONGRATULATIONS to Angie Rennie! She is the winner of “The Enchanted Sonata” giveaway. A big thank you to everyone who entered! I feel I really do know the best people ♥
Haha yaaaas lervv prevails yet again! Love seeing your stories of everyday life with the Handsome! ^_^
LOL You crack me up!! Of course he waited till after you were married, lol you might have had an aversion to dumpster diving!! :) Glad your still liking married life. My hubby was a little shocked you were eating cold cereal for breakfast…
You are completely correct about the 5% sale items. Every time I get a 50% off, the one thing I want right then is on sale.
P.S. My daughter works at the local Joanns and was super excited she might see you there sometime. She also asked for your latest book for Christmas. #heatherfan
I love the idea of dumpster diving, but hate getting my hands dirty. And so treasures pass me by every day. I hoard until I can’t stand it and purge. There’s usually one item I go “Why did I throw that away?!” but that’s it.
I think our husbands might be clones. My eyes were getting bigger and bigger the more I read because it was EXACTLY LIKE SOMETHING MY HUSBAND WOULD DO.
P.S. The answer is always just to replace all the buttons, you can never match the buttons. I think it’s probably a scientific axiom.
P.S. I once threw away a ball of lint that he left on his nightstand, thinking, “It’s a ball of lint.” Later he asked me where his ball of lint was and responded to the news that it was no more with a long story about how he was emotionally attached to that ball of lint. I KID YOU NOT, THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED.
Haha!! Based on how the story was going, I was totally expecting you to say he found the matching button in a dumpster! XD
Wow this story was like watching my future. My fiance is currently studying to be an engineer and he literally wears plaid button up shirts every day. I am also a thrower-awayer while he is not. I’ll have to keep this in mind for future button matters that may arise!