I’m an early riser, and when I say “early riser,” I actually just mean “insane.”

Every morning I get up at 3:45 AM then make the sleepy trek to my sister’s house to go running.

We do this because we’re too tired to talk ourselves out of it.  And also, the neighbors won’t see us in our grungies.  Everything’s nice and quiet and wonderfully boring. Not even the dogs and mosquitoes are awake.  All the crooks are in bed, too.  I never see anything happen at 4 AM.


Like, really weird.

There was one time at 4 AM I saw a clown riding past on a tandem bike.

Oh wait…that was me.

Ok I guess a few weeks ago something happened–I saw a white truck parked in front of someone’s house.  It was idling and when the guy saw me drive past, he turned of his lights and sunk real low in his seat.

I called the cops on him.

Since then, I’ve driven past the house several times and…have…seen that same white truck parked…in…the driveway.

So…I uh…I guess I uh called the cops on someone who lived there.



(My neighbors love me.)

Anyway, last week…

I was up and making the short drive to my sis’s house, when I see a bunch of flashing lights up ahead.

Lo and behold there were three cop cars (including the Sheriff’s truck) all lined up in a row, their lights flashing and driving very, very sloooowly.

Slooowly, they drove through the red light.

And sl-0-o-o-wly they drove into my lane!!

They were coming at me head on!

Then one of them blared their sirens at me so I stopped real short because whaaaaaa

And then, out of the darkness

emerged a big black


It stared at me for a second and then trotted around my car and back into the other lane.

Lights still on, the police cars slowly, slooowly followed it

It was definitely the most entertaining thing I’ve seen all month.

In fact when I got to my sister’s house I convinced her to bike after it.

(She loves me.)

ADDENDUM:  This morning we were jogging and there was a guy going real slowly around a house with a flashlight…and a crowbar.

We, um.  We decided that he lived there.