My beauty products have been threatening to take over the bathroom

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and I NEED every single one of them

so I broke my vow of buying self-assembly furniture and bought self-assembly furniture

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It worked ok I guess until I had it all together over my toilet but it was awfully unstable and the instructions said to screw it into the wall and I DID but the screw only went in halfway and then just kept twisting and twisting and went nowhere

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And that was a problem because I KNEW it was going to fall on me while I was going to the bathroom and even more embarrassing than someone finding my skeleton half-naked was that they’d also find out what I’d been reading

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So I turned to the Savior of the Housewife, the Feminine Version of Duct Tape

That’s right

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HOT GLUE BABY

I use hot glue for pretty much everything

Dishes

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Broken doors

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Open wounds

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It works great

I slathered that screw in loads of hot glue

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And not only does that rhyme BUT the hot glue did the trick so I win double here

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Fast forward a few months

when I was bragging to a coworker about my ingenuity

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And he just kind of looked at me and said:

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Apparently the reason the screw did not screw in all the way was because I needed to screw it into a stud, which is a giant beam behind the wall which you can’t find unless you have something called a “studfinder” which is like $7 on Amazon and who in the world has money for that especially if the cabinet hasn’t fallen on you yet

Which I began explaining to my parents last week

hot-glue_16And my dad was like

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And we were like

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My mom is a hot glue MAVEN and if you ever meet her you should ask about her collection of hot glue guns, it’s pretty impressive

Also this blog post is just one giant run-on sentence

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