The last blog post was inspired by an urban legend.  You’ve probably heard it:

About 50 years ago, a lady decided to try one of those fancy beehive hairdoos.

The hairdresser was like, “Okay, it’s set.  But if you want to keep it nice, never  wash it–wrap it up in toilet paper every night and carefully sleep on it instead, and you won’t have to fix it in the morning!  It’ll stay nice for a good long time.”

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And the lady was like, “Swell!”

And that’s just what she did.

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But after a while, her beehive hairdoo got real itchy.

Real itchy.

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Yeah, you guessed it.  One night, in the middle of the night, she woke up like this:

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This is a morality story:  WASH YOUR HAIR.

Did you ever hear the urban legend about the bride?  She decided to have her wedding at an old farm, with an old farmhouse and an old barn.

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They decided to play hide and go seek.

(Those lovebirds.)

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Anyway, the bride went up to the attic and hid in a trunk–

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…Which immediately slammed shut

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And locked.  Of course.

Everyone in the wedding party looked, and looked, and looked.

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But they had to go home.

The groom searched but I guess gave up.

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It’s weird how in these stories, they never contact the police.

Anyway.

The trunk remained untouched in the attic for years…

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…Until…

(You guessed it)

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They found her!

This story is a cautionary tale as well: Never play hide and go seek on your wedding day.  And I promise you: I never will.

Did you hear the urban legend about Martha Washington?

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They dug up her coffin (why?) and found scratch marks on the inside of the lid.

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(!!!!!!!!!)

This was a legit fear way back when…they didn’t put preservatives in bodies or anything, they just dressed the corpse in a Sunday suit and stuck it in the coffin and buried it.

Some people invested in a bell that was connected to a string tied to their finger, so if they woke up buried alive, they could ring it and someone would hurry and dig them up.

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Now that we are civilized, of course, we make sure that you’re good and dead first by draining your blood and pumping toxic chemicals into you.  Isn’t that a relief?

I bet you had a haunted auditorium when you were a kid.

(Everyone’s auditorium was haunted)

My elementary school was haunted.

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Or so they said.

They said it had been built on an ancient Indian burial ground, and now 44 Indian braves haunt the school.

…Which I never witnessed (DARNIT!!!!), but a few months ago they were doing construction nearby, and what do you think they dug up?

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Not a skeleton (I wish).  But they did find Indian artifacts!  So maybe it was true after all….

I won’t say what elementary school it was, because some of the kids who read this blog go to that school.  I don’t want them scared to go to school, like I was.  (Though for entirely different reasons.)

Have you seen This Man?

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If you have, you are not alone.  Everyone dreams about him…or so they SAY.

Learn more here at www.thisman.org…and don’t punch me in the face when visiting this site gives you nightmares O_____O

One last story.  You know how every school has a haunted auditorium?  I think every family has an urban legend.

Wanna know mine?

My grandpa ran into Bigfoot!

Really!

Here’s the story.

When my grandpa was a young’un, he had the smartest donkey you ever met.  Her name was Ginny.

Ginny and Grandpa would often go to Democratic conventions (you know, because a donkey is their mascot) and they would do a fun little show for all the folks there.  My grandpa would say:

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And Ginny would shake her head furiously.

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And then my grandpa would say:

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And she’d be like:

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And everyone thought that was pretty great, until of course the Republican nominee actually did win (because this is Utah.)

All this to say, Ginny really was a smart little thing!

Anyway, one day, Grandpa and Ginny would backpacking up in the mountains.

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On their way to the middle of nowhere–there wasn’t a person around for miles–there was suddenly a giant rustling in the foliage up ahead.

Along with the rustling came a terrible, terrible smell.  It was just awful.

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Ginny went crazy.  She bucked and pulled and sat down and refused to go any further at all.

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Grandpa was forced to turn around.  Ginny hightailed it down that mountain!

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Was it Bigfoot?  My grandpa thought so.

 And maybe it was!  Who knows?  It definitely makes for a good Halloween story!

Does your family have an urban legend?  Ghost sightings?  Mind-reading?  Leave your story in the comments section!

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