When I’m ruler of Can-mer’ca
(And Florida’s sunk into the sea)
When my tyranny’s established
Then I’ll make just one decree:
Every Mountie in Ca-nah-dah
With their gorgie little hats 

With their gorgie little bootsies
And their tunics, breeches, spats
WILL BE MY SLAVES

I’ll gather them like tribbles
in my Mountie-catcher truck

Take them to my Mountie Mansion

(Oh those lucky duck Canucks) 
I’ll have Mounties in the kitchens

I’ll have Mounties in the halls

If there’s Mounties at the fences 

I’ll have Mounties on my walls 

They’ll feed me grapes by poolside
They’ll feed me Lean Cuisine

They’ll love, adore, and fear me
As their reigning Mountie Queen.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Soon, my friends.  Soon.  All I need to do is wait for the government to become completely corrupt, then I take over.  So, obviously, not long.

On a completely related note…Did you hear Bill Nye the Science Guy is on Dancing With The Stars this season??

You cannot make these things up.  I’m totally pumped.  I’m gonna watch every episode.  Even if I’m scared out of my mind about seeing him do moves like THIS

I’ll be strong.  My innocence might crawl into a corner and die, but I will be strong.

Why is my innocence so small??
FacebookTwitterRedditTumblrShare