A couple of weeks before the 4th,
my mom gave me a call.
MOM:  Our city is having a 5k on the 4th and I’m doing it but I’m sort of worried I might come in last and I really don’t want that to happen.  Will you do it with me?

ME:  Sure.  You bet.

MOM:  Really?!?

ME:  Sure.

ME:  What’s a Fivekay?

MOM:  (explains what a 5k is)

ME:  WHAT?

MOM:

Not to mention, my schedule’s been like this:

I haven’t been outside in months!
But mother birthed me and all, so I woke up at 4 am and dressed all cute
and did my hair all cute and drove to my old home town, West Point.
The starting line was packed.
Luckily I found my mom.

The horn sounded, and we were off in a cloud of dust!

Pretty soon everyone had run ahead.

Pretty soon my own mother had run ahead.

Pretty soon I reached the half mile mark and 
I realized I wasn’t going to make it.

Fortuitously enough, the race route was just passing a road…

…that just happened to lead to my parents’ house…

SNEAKY

Luckily I had a key :)
I used the bathroom…

…checked my phone messages…

…ate some watermelon in the big bowl on the counter…

It wasn’t too long before I saw the runners making their
way back to the park.
I figured it was time to skedaddle.

Admittedly, I didn’t exactly burn the rubber
off the soles of my shoes.

When I finally turned the corner to the finish line, 
I was met with this:

Well that didn’t make me feel guilty at all. 

I ended the race at a run, leaving behind 
a great big steaming wake of CHEAT.

30 minutes later, my mom found me. 

Apparently she’d discovered me missing in the middle of the race.

What do you know.  She won 2nd place.

(She owes it all to me)
Afterwards there was a raffle where I won a Striders
t-shirt, ballcap, and decal.

So now everyone can know just how much I love to run!
THE END.
PS If you haven’t seen a West Point parade, here is a taste of the joy 
(watch it 45x for the full parade experience):

It has the two best t’s in the world: Tractors and Taffy.  Yesss baby!

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