Last week, my aunt related a story to me:
Her 6 month old was sleeping in the swing and her 2-year old was watching Dinosaur Train with a bowl of pretzels and she figured that now was a pretty good time to sneak away and take a 90-second shower.
45 seconds in, and she heard a giant crash.
She ran out to discover this:
(Baby was ok)
Anyway, it got me thinking about kids and babies and stuff.
If you were lucky, after the stork delivered you, you opened your eyes to a scene like this:
If you were luckier, however–and I was!–your very first vista was this:
You were a younger sibling!
This makes growing up an adventure, because kids that age only sort their life interactions into two categories:
Toys and Not Toys.
And babies make the BEST toys! They make noises and move and stuff. They’re better than matches!
Like a baby chic punching a hole through its shell, this kind of stuff makes babies stronger. If a younger-sibling baby lives past the first 3 months of it’s life, that’s a pretty good sign it’ll live to puberty.
I myself have made a noble contribution to this theory. When I was 3 or 4, I remember my mom’s friend had come to visit with her newborn. I think the novelty of my two younger siblings had worn off, so I was super excited to hold the thing. I washed my hands and sat in a big chair and was pretty much ready for some great baby bonding time.
After 3 minutes or so, the novelty wore off.
I wanted to stop holding her, but interrupting the grown-ups did not seem like a good idea.
So I came up with this really awesome idea!*
I’d been to the park earlier that week and remembered the slide and thought it would be a lot of fun if I could make myself a human slide! I would put my legs at an incline and point my toes and it would be so much FUN!
*it didn’t occur to me to just set the baby down. Common sense was never my forte.
Here’s how it happened in my head:
Um. Here’s how it happened in real life:
The grown-ups weren’t real happy about that.
But it DID prove me right! This stuff makes babies stronger. And the baby? She grew up just fine.
I think. I mean, she did ask me to be her friend on facebook, so…she’s mentally sound I think. Or is she??
Anyway, the moral of this story is: Kids, let the world be your playground. It makes you stronger.
…Which is exactly what I told my aunt.
(I don’t think she appreciated it)